How to Live in a Tiny House — Together
Clear communication maximizes love in a small space.
- Start by aligning your visions for the space to represent you both
- Maintain healthy physical and relationship boundaries
- Be flexible and remember to communicate how great your partner is
Living in a tiny home with your significant other? Small spaces bring both adventures and challenges. In the spirit of living intentionally, think through, discuss, and embrace these relationship tips.
How to Live in a Tiny House and Maintain Small Space Harmony
Successfully living in a tiny home as a couple starts with the space itself.
Consider the vibe your space and possessions communicate to others about each of you.
Regardless of the number of things you have in your house, anyone walking in will form a first impression. In a small space, more of your life will be on display. While it may not come to mind immediately, both of you will be happier if your home reflects the way you see yourselves.
Look at photos of other small homes, visit some if possible, and think about other places you enjoy. Then find ways to include art, colors, and small items that capture the spaces where you ideally like to spend time.
Organize for visual calm and commit to keeping it this way.
Humans feel calmer when fewer visual stimuli compete for our attention. We vary, though, in what this means to us individually.
You might feel comforted by dark, paneled wood, bright wall hangings, and a variety of printed throw pillows.
But perhaps your partner craves pale, simple designs, with natural light and textures as art. They would feel claustrophobic in your ideal space, and you’d probably crave coziness in theirs.
So talk through what you both like, how it feels, and what organizational approach will get you the closest.
Agree on how to best keep your space looking tidy and calm, and create a cleaning plan to accomplish this.
Be mutually flexible.
With less space to physically distance yourselves in a disagreement, knowing when to stay firm and when to let something go depends on knowing what you each feel to be truly important.
Talk through your priorities during calm times. Agree to respect each other’s non-negotiables if at all possible. Beyond that, let it go.
How to Live in a Tiny House and Maintain Personal Space
Discuss sounds and other sensory ways that personal space might be overstepped. Consider quiet hours for work, study, or journaling.
In a smaller space, sounds, sights, even smells take over the whole house. If you’re in the bed loft and your musician partner plays guitar into the night, it may be impossible for you to tune this out. Or to sleep.
If you’re on the receiving end of a sensory explosion, the unhappy situation may seem obvious to you. But your husband, the cook, whipping up an intensely spicy curry in your shared, tiny kitchen might not notice.
Be attuned to body language showing you’ve crossed a line. Perhaps ask your loved one whether your loud action movie bothers them while they’re studying.
For regular jam sessions, upcoming finals, or day to day work from home, setting hours and decibel levels up front gives both of you the chance to think through how you interact before annoyance builds into resentment.
Flexibility helps, as do headphones and outside-venting fans. Find some places to go, too, such as a library, a gym, a hike, or a friend’s place, when your partner needs to take over the place for a bit.
Find places, even if small, that belong to each of you, such as a night-stand-type area, a drawer, or a shelf.
You may not realize that you, like all of us, need a bit of physical space that’s all yours. It’s clear that animals guard their territory, but humans do as well. While as part of a loving couple, you may share most things, you’ll feel more in control with a bit to call your own.
Consider setting aside space on your sides of the bed, and saving a shelf and a drawer for each of you. Look into dual small desks for your work or school needs, even if they combine to double as a larger table when friends arrive.
Protect these places so they only change when you choose. Use them for your own mementos, or your personal, practical gear. Respect each other’s spots and work around them when organizing the rest of your tiny house.
Absence Makes the Heart…
Talk through how much together vs alone time you need. Listen to your partner’s perspective.
There’s no one right amount of time to spend together or apart. Discuss your own views and listen to your significant other.
This’ll help you both place preferences in the Just-Who-They-Are bucket instead of the Something’s-Wrong-with-Our-Relationship one. Then you can experiment, trying different ways to advocate for your own needs while also being open to theirs.
Ask for additional personal time when you need it, and clarify and support your partner’s wishes.
Times and people ebb and flow, and you can’t anticipate every situation. So when you or your partner need more time to yourselves, talk this through.
Think about how what you’re saying sounds from their side. So instead of saying, “I need more space!”, describe your goal differently.
For example, “I’d like to take a cooking class to get new dinner ideas for when your parents visit.”
If you worry they might be pushing you away due to depression or something else more serious, though, gently offer to listen, even if they sound upset. Seek professional help if needed.
Of course, if you’re concerned that space is a code-word for them looking for solace elsewhere, don’t get distracted by the challenges of a tiny home. Find ways to address the issue and return your relationship to more trusted ground.
How to Live in a Tiny House and Accentuate the Positive
Note and communicate gratitude about your life together.
Lastly, whether you choose to pursue your life together in a tiny dwelling or a mansion, take the time to be gentle with each other and to be grateful for everything you have.
Leave behind a sweet note for your partner when you go to work. Notice when they do kind things for you or your home and say thanks! Have conversations about the good things in your life together, not just problems.
Find ways to laugh and have fun together, in and out of your tiny home.
See Our Other Wellness Posts
- 5 Ways to Live with Intention
- Raising a Family in a Tiny House
- Preparing to Move Into a Tiny House
- Dealing with a Bad Day in Your Tiny House
